Just another day with M.E

When the Doc asks you what's wrong and you answer 'It would be quicker to say what's not wrong' then you are in M.E territory. When you feel so ill and have been for so long and still no one believes you, it's as good as a diagnosis; which by and large is not worth the paper it's written on, but Hey. I have worked all through this, over 7 years now and looking back I can't imagine how I did it. If my boss had a Human resources dept I'd be in a gutter somewhere by now but thats the advantage of working in a feudal environment. HR hasn't been invented. Along with computers, labour saving machinery and Human rights! When people realise that I have kept my job through all of this it is not the Hero look that I get, as if I had fought off Cancer, only bettered by an Olympian with cancer, this is the Human equivalent of a big eyed puppy in the AHH stakes (of course Nothing beats an Astronaut} No, the look is one of 'He can't have been that ill' or he'd never have been able to have worked; thus confirming that people who claim to have ME are ya de ya de ya.......and have probably been abducted by aliens as well. How I wish. The truth is that we Humans can put up with almost anything, we struggle on through disaster, war and brutality unimaginable. It may not kill us ( at least not yet) but it damages us, I have become more resilient, but stronger? I have learned to do no more than I have to and to do that with a minimum of fuss. I have lightened the load, if it's not bolted down ,over the side with it. I ask no quarter and I am given none, Sympathy fatigue sets in very fast, about 3 weeks unless you have a visible disability and then not much longer in the brave new world of ATOS and IDS. So I struggle on waking each morning with the wildly unrealistic belief that I don't have an incurable illness, that the next supplement will be the one, that If I just manage it better I will find a way out the other side, that the Psychiatrists are right and my pain and disability are the result of wrong thinking........no that last one is just too outlandish. But that's enough of that, the suns shining I'm going to visit a garden open under the NGS as is my own shortly. Today I triumphed in not only finding the login details but some photo's and after resizing uploading them to the site. This may not seem a big deal but imagine just emerging from the primordial oceans and getting to grips with IT. The cognitive havoc wrought by this disease wipes memory as if it has never happened. No vague remembrance of actions performed, nada, zilch......from scratch everytime; recreating the world from first principles. It is a puzzle, if you related to Memento, your half way there. It would be a good time to turn back. Still ,come and visit me in my very large country garden, spot the mouldewaper; he will not be wearing a carnation or carrying a copy of the Times. He may look surprisingly normal on the outside if a little damp around the edges.